Highlights

Barry comes back fighting fit from 2 week Sumo course

Halloween treat - Jonesy gets into Miss Chief

Surprise guest! General Pinochet turns up for Chilli Night

 

Inside

Southampton Manager Dave Jones offers to be Sefton Father Christmas

Lee Warwick calls out plumber - No water in his Loo

Moan of the Match - Frank wins wet T Shirt contest

The Seftimes

Plaster of Paris for The All Blacks

World Cup Semi-Final - New Zealand 31 France 43

 

 

Sefton 8 Tyldesley 24

It all seemed to be going Sefton's way when they overturned a seven point deficit to a 8-7 lead at the interval.

But their hopes of a third successive victory collapsed as injuries upset their rhythm, despite a man of the match performance from wing forward Mark Tyms.

Matt Thomas grabbed the Sefton try and Phil Evans landed a penalty.

 

First XV for Sat 30th October 1999

CARRUTHERS, MW

COULTER, WT

HARPER, F

TEALE, SR

MCKIBBIN, T

WINTER, G

TYMS, M

BURNS, I

THOMAS, MG

OSBORNE, W

WALKER, P

EVANS, P

HARPER, A

BARLOW, J

EDWARDS, DW

BYRNE, K

SHEEHAN, A

 

No random cultural stereotypes here at all...

 

Seeing how the All Blacks were motivated by performing "The Haka" before their World Cup games, the other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.

The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles for a while before moaning about how they invented the game, and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone can beat them now.

The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before smashing an Irn Bru bottle over their opponents heads.

The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents' dressing room.

Unfortunately the Welsh suggestion has been vetoed by the RSPCA.

Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be forcibly removed by the stewards.

Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other thirteen whom they will coral between the posts whilst they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.

The Americans will not be there until half time. In future years they will alter the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a film called "Saving No8 Lyle".

Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marsaillaise and hold the rest of the side to ransom.

The Italian team will arrive in red penis-substituting cars, sexually harass the female stewards and then run away.

The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch, mow it and then claim that it was all in line with the European "grass quotas". They will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time.

The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good salaries to the key opposition players (over 35) and then run around the pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).

The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across the halfway line, let sheep lose in the opposition half and burn the officials.

The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating

lucrative singing and TV contracts in the UK. They

will then invite their mates to come and live with

them in Shepherds Bush before beating up all the women on the touchline.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seftimes’ is a bit of a larf, all characters in this newsletter are hopeless and any association in real life is purely coincidental. If you don’t like it ‘tough titties’, if you can you feed the Editor with ‘scoops’ feel free to E-mail on : - davidbohl@compuserve.com or you can visit the new Internet site at www.seftonrufc.co.uk