Stella Artois Alert ! New keg arriving this week, many casualties likely
Paula's Poodle - Basher goes diving like Manweb shares
Smigger buys cheap holiday to hot destination - Bali !
John Major battered by Edwina Currie - he's now in a Korma
Sefton refurbish pool - Michael Barrymore becomes Social Secretary
Rainbow Warrior buzzed by Peter Merriman in The Tardis
Lawnmoaner Man cuts cost, not grass !
Club gardener buys new sit -on mower but has no keys to start it with…. what a plonker !
Sefton7 Prenton 12
A tight cross river derby in the third division of the South Lancashire Cheshire League went the way of Prenton thanks to a late try by Andy Gayle. Phil Evans converted his own first half try for the home side and Prenton replied with a touch down by Paul Leigh goaled by Gareth Chapman.
Sefton36 St Marys 15
Paul Wynne turned in a man of the match performance as Sefton scored tries through Phil Evans (2), Wayne Osborne, Phil Osborne and Andy Sheehan. Evans kicked four conversions and a penalty to register 16 points.
Sefton45 West Park Warriors 22
Winger Phil Osborne scored a try and made two as Sefton cruised into the Powergen Junior Vase second round. Matt Thomas (2), Phil Evans, Wayne Osborne and Brian Gardner all crossed and Evans landed six conversions and a penalty.
Sefton22 Orrell Anvils 10
Skipper Andy Walsh and Dave Edwards led the way as Sefton kept in touch with the Cheshire/South Lancashire Third Division leaders. Walsh, Brian Gardner and Phil Evans scored the tries and Evans tacked on a penalty and two conversions. Anvils replied with an Andy Unsworth try converted by Andy Whittle, who added a penalty.
Congleton0 Sefton 41
Sefton stayed in touch at the top of the Cheshire/South Lancashire Third Division with a six-try spectacular. Wayne Osborne (2), Phil Evans, skipper Andy Walsh, Richard Francis and Dave Edwards scored their tries and Evans tacked on a four conversions and a penalty.
Sefton36 Marple 0
Newcomer Richard Francis picked up his first man of the match award as Sefton put on the style to stay among the Cheshire/South Lancashire Third Division leaders. Phil Osborne (2), Paul Wynne, Francis, skipper Andy Walsh and Brian Gardner collected the tries. When Phil Evans sobered up he added three conversions.
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